Hedwig's Game of the Year
by Kingtutgaming
Summary: In the Battle over Little Whinging, Hedwig died in her cage, struck down in a flash of green. But it doesn't take long for her to discover the truth: she's been given another chance to save herself and save her Harry. The real adventure has barely begun. Adopted from Publicola
1. The one Publicola wrote

Hedwig's Game of the Year  
>By Publicola<p>

Disclaimer: I don't own a snowy owl; therefore, it would be illogical to presume I own Hedwig, let alone the entire Harry Potter universe to which she belongs.

Author's Note: This fic is _not up for adoption anymore. I adopted it, but Publicola did write this chapter._

Published: 5-18-14

* * *

><p><strong>And then, out of nowhere, out of nothing, they were surrounded. At least thirty hooded figures, suspended in midair, formed a vast circle in the midst of which the Order members had risen, oblivious—<strong>

**Screams, a blaze of green light on every side: Hagrid gave a yell and the motorbike rolled over. Harry lost any sense of where they were: Streetlights above him, yells around him, he was clinging to the sidecar for dear life. Hedwig's cage, the Firebolt, and his rucksack slipped from beneath his knees—**

"**No — HEDWIG!"**

**The broomstick spun to earth, but he just managed to seize the strap of his rucksack and the top of the cage as the motorbike swung the right way up again. A second's relief, and then another burst of green light. The owl screeched and feel to the floor of the cage.**

"**No — NO!"**

**The motorbike zoomed forward; Harry glimpsed hooded Death Eaters scattering as Hagrid blasted through their circle.**

"**Hedwig — **_**Hedwig **_**—"**

**But the owl lay motionless and pathetic as a toy on the floor of her cage.**

* * *

><p>On an invisible perch above the cooling corpse sat an invisible owl, too dim and dismal for her Harry's eyes. If the specter could speak human, she might have noted how pathetic it was that a bird of prey would die in a cage, or how nonsensical it was that she was in such a cage when her human knew she was perfectly capable of flying alongside him.<p>

"Preck." The owl-ghost swore as she eyed her former body.

Then the gossamer veil started to close, and shades of night faded to a piercing brightness.

But they would not fade for long. From the distance came a noise, then a sound, then finally a bright 8-bit melody, simple yet somehow haunting.

"Hoo?" If Hedwig could speak, she might have said something like 'Isn't my theme song?'

Then the veil open, and out of the brightness appeared letters, flashing bold and black:

**GAME OVER**

"Preck," Hedwig spat, meaning something along the lines of 'My human was fate's plaything for his whole life; why should I expect to be treated any differently?'

Owl is a very complicated language.

The letters faded, and were replaced:

**YOU DIED**

**LEVEL:** Post Owl  
><strong>EXPERIENCE:<strong> 46 / 300  
><strong>KARMA:<strong> Moderately Good

**ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED:** Neither Snow Nor Rain  
><strong>ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED:<strong> My Owl, My Friend  
><strong>ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED:<strong> Bacon Neophyte  
><strong>ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED:<strong> Tragically Ironic Death

**NEW GAME? YES / NO**

"Preck." The human translation for that is unfortunately quite unprintable. If Hedwig weren't incorporeal at the moment, she'd probably be banging her head against the nearest wall. "Preck. Preck. Preck."

**CONFIRM: Exit Game?**

"Kre kre kre!" Hedwig frantically tried to return.

**NEW GAME? YES / NO**

"Preck?"

**CONFIRM: Start Over?**

"Preck." Hard enough for a human to navigate a voice-controlled menu, but for an owl? It was a minor miracle she managed it. Lucky for her she knew how to read. Hedwig was a trained post-owl, after all.

**WELCOME TO  
>HEDWIG'S GAME OF THE YEAR<strong>

**START GAME  
>LOAD GAME<br>OPTIONS  
>QUIT<strong>

"Hooo?"

**OPTIONS**

**MENU CONTROL: **Voice**  
>IN-GAME MUSIC: <strong>Disabled**  
>DIFFICULTY: <strong>Snowball's Chance in Hell

Hedwig barked, precked, and hooted her way until she finally succeeded:

**MENU CONTROLS: **Point-and-Click

Now the menu in front of her took on a semi-physical form, and she could use her claws to select options. Better.

**DIFFICULTY: **Beginner

Much better!

Now Hedwig discovered several new options that had been previously grayed out.

**TUTORIAL: **Disabled**  
>IN-GAME HINTS: <strong>Disabled**  
>AUTO-SAVE: <strong>Disabled**  
>IN-GAME MENU: <strong>Disabled

She hastily enabled all of these and returned to the main menu. There was nothing else to try ('LOAD GAME' was grayed out as well, no doubt because she hadn't yet saved a game), so she clicked:

**NEW GAME**

In a blink a cut-scene began, filling the space around Hedwig with snippets from her Harry's life.

In quick succession Hedwig bore witness to her Harry's birth, the telling of the prophecy, the events of that fateful Halloween, a short shot of the celebrations in Diagon Alley, but then a much longer scene showing the old white-bearded one dumping her Harry on a doorstep.

"Preck."

She didn't recognize the person doing the voice-over, though it reminded her of one of those BBC nature documentaries the Dursleys would occasionally watch while Harry was locked upstairs.

"Years past, and the infant grew into a boy. But little did the young Harry know that he was acclaimed a hero of the Wizarding World, that while he toiled in obscurity under his relatives' hateful eyes he would soon learn his true heritage... and his true destiny. For a prophesy foretold that Harry Potter would be the one to defeat the greatest Dark Lord in history. But Harry would not fight alone. No, he would face the darkness with his oldest friend and greatest ally by his side, the only one who could guide him to fulfill his great and terrible fate. That ally was none other than his owl. And her name... was Hedwig!"

The cut-scene ended, and a three-dimensional prompt popped into the space before her.

**PICK YOUR AVATAR**

Hedwig surveyed the platforms in front of her. A few were blurred out, their only recognizable feature a very large question mark where the label would go, but the rest were easy to see. Here was a 'Barn Owl,' there a 'Tawny,' even a 'Boreal Owl' hiding over there in the corner. Soon her eyes landed and locked onto one particular figure:

**SNOWY OWL**

**SIGHT: Mostly Nocturnal **(+2 Perception, +2 Perception at Night)**  
>HEARING: Excellent <strong>(+4 Perception)**  
>VISIBILITY: Very High <strong>(+5 Charisma, -5 Stealth)**  
>APPETITE: Bacon! <strong>(Recover Health from Human Food)

Why mess with what worked before? She selected the figure before her.

A new screen popped up.

**SELECT YOUR ATTRIBUTES**

**STRENGTH: **4**  
>DEXTERITY: <strong>6**  
>INTELLIGENCE: <strong>2**  
>MAGIC: <strong>2

**(0) Points Remaining**

Hedwig quirked her head. Perhaps…

**STRENGTH: **1**  
>DEXTERITY: <strong>1**  
>INTELLIGENCE: <strong>10**  
>MAGIC: <strong>2

_I suppose that would make me a Highly Educated Owl, now, wouldn't it? _Hedwig preened, then stopped short. _Good heavens, I was… I was thinking! With words and sentences and everything! Calloo, Callay, oh frabjous day! _Hedwig's brow furrowed. _Now where would I have read Lewis Carroll? Bah, never mind that._

Beside each attribute was a circled question-mark. Clicking each of these in turn, Hedwig discovered that each attribute boosted her abilities, but would also assist in gaining various skills and perks that she might pick up down the line. Strength referred primarily to her physical power (and damage in battle), but would help boost her constitution or overall health. Dexterity mainly indicated her physical agility, but would also help her pick up perception-based skills, among others. Magic had fewer immediate benefits, but provided much bigger boosts to a broad set of skills down the road. Intelligence, meanwhile, was exactly what it sounded like: it improved her critical thinking. Perhaps just as importantly, however, Intelligence would increase the rate at which Hedwig gained experience and skill points.

In short, for an owl who had spent far too many summers trapped in a house with Harry's video-game-savvy cousin, that stat sheet looked like precisely the sort she'd choose to start min-maxing her way to victory.

On the other hand, her Harry was constantly fighting for his life, even as early as first year. If she only gave herself minimal strength and dexterity, how much help would she really be?

**STRENGTH: **3**  
>DEXTERITY: <strong>2  
><strong>INTELLIGENCE: <strong>7**  
>MAGIC: <strong>2

For Harry! For glory! For bacon!

**SELECT YOUR SKILLS**

**LEVEL 1: **Owlet**  
>EXP: <strong>0 / 100

**Charisma: **5**  
>Constitution: <strong>6**  
>Flying: <strong>4**  
>Hunting: <strong>5**  
>Magical Detection: <strong>1**  
>Perception: <strong>6 (+2 at Night)**  
>Resistance (Physical): <strong>3**  
>Resistance (Magical): <strong>2**  
>Stealth: <strong>-5

**(0) Skill Points Remaining  
>Unlock More Skills Throughout The Game!<strong>

Again clicking through the question marks, Hedwig discovered how skills were calculated ('base' points calculated from attributes, plus bonus points picked up from various achievements, plus skill points gained with each new level) and what skills were good for (Charisma helped improved her relationship with humans and other owls, for instance). She couldn't affect her skills yet, but with her intelligence level, Hedwig was taking no chances when it concerned the mechanics of how the game would affect her life.

**SELECT YOUR PERKS**

**CURRENT PERKS**

**Bacon! **Recover Health from Human Food **Requires:** Snowy Owl Avatar

**AVAILABLE PERKS**

**Super-Hedwig:** Gain +1 Attribute Point. **Requires:** Level 1  
><strong>Red in Tooth and Claw: <strong>More Food/Health from Hunting. **Requires:** 2+ STR  
><strong>Rubber-Necking: <strong>Dexterity affects Perception Skill. **Requires:** 2+ DEX **  
>Post Owl Honing Charm: <strong>Can Locate Mail Recipients-People. **Requires:** 2+ MAG**  
>Post Owl Apprentice: <strong>Can Locate Mail Recipients-Homes. **Requires:** 2+ INT  
><strong>Post Owl Journeyman: <strong>Can Understand Human Speech. **Requires:** 4+ INT  
><strong>A Highly Educated Owl: <strong>Unlocks 'Reading' Ability and Skills. **Requires:** 6+ INT

**(2) Perk Points Remaining  
>Unlock More Perks Throughout The Game!<strong>

After some deliberation, Hedwig chose to select 'Post Owl Honing Charm' as the most relevant to her chosen profession, and 'Super-Hedwig' to grab the extra attribute point, which she predictably allotted to Intelligence.

**STRENGTH: **3**  
>DEXTERITY: <strong>2**  
>INTELLIGENCE: <strong>8**  
>MAGIC: <strong>2

Hedwig was sorely tempted to pick 'A Highly Educated Owl' to allow for more level-grinding once she found her Harry again, but she wasn't sure how useful it'd be in the short term.

At last her character creation was complete. The screen in front of her flashed:

**BEGIN GAME? YES / NO**

This time, she wouldn't fail. This time, she wouldn't die. This time, she would save her Harry.

With a click of a button, the screen went blank and the world around Hedwig went dark. Soon she felt a pull, somewhat like how her Harry described what Floo-ing felt like. Then there was a light at the end of the tunnel – _there was a tunnel?_ – and the pull continued, though now it felt somewhat like a suck.

A few second later, it plopped her out in the middle of a parliament of owls, just as loud and chaotic and cacophonous as the human one.

**WELCOME TO THE TUTORIAL:  
>POST-OWL ACADEMY<strong>

Oh.

Well darn. Turns out it might be a while longer before she'd find her Harry again after all.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** This story was prompted by a discussion on Caer Azakaban of michaelsuave's (id:1946685) impressive "The Adventures of Harry Potter, the Video Game: Exploited." A conversation about how Harry's owl might fit into his RPG framework, led to an amusing set of imagined scenes where Harry is frustrated by the fact that his owl is better at level-grinding than he is. That led me to imagine basing an entire fic on that notion, and... here you go.

A few thoughts for where this story might go: obviously Hedwig would be rather single-mindedly focused on level-grinding until she completes her training and finally manages to meet her Harry. Hopefully one of her acquired skills would be lock-picking, so she can continue her level-grinding despite being locked in a cage at EEylop's Owl Emporium and later at the Dursleys. One of the major challenges in writing such a fic would be ensuring that Hedwig is not just a tag-along to some of Harry's adventures in Hogwarts: while the stations of canon might be fun, that's not enough to drive a self-standing fic. On the other hand, I can already picture a scene with Hedwig flying herself to near-exhaustion in order to return the Philosopher's Stone to the Flamels. Make of that what you will.

As far as game mechanics go, I envisioned each level (from Owlet, to Post Owlet, to Post Owl, to… something bigger) would require an addition 100 EXP from the previous one to level up. Each level would add 1 attribute point, 2 perk points, and between 2-5 skill points to Hedwig's arsenal. Skill points would allow you to pretty easily customize game-play, depending on where you allot them: you could turn Hedwig into the world's first Combat Owl, make her a world traveler if England starts to bore you, or turn her into Harry's friend and study partner ('A Highly Educated Owl,' anyone?). Another element of game-play would involve maxing out the various attributes to enable special perks: 10 Strength, for instance, might enable Hedwig to go toe-to-toe with a mountain troll, while 10 Intelligence might enable her to, say, speak like a human.

In fact, one of the long-term plans I'd considered for this fic would be that maxing out Magic at 10 would unlock a new Avatar, allowing Hedwig to restart the game as an owl animagus, with a main 'Quest' of unlocking her human form. This of course leads into our first snippet._** Kingtutgaming here. So I adopted this fanfic. What can I say? The Harry Potter section needs more stories like this. I just hope I can write this as good as Publicola.**_

* * *

><p><strong>Omake by Valentine Meiken (id:405709)<strong>

Hedwig sighed. She'd done what seemed like a million play-throughs, and now she was looking at her chance to design a human avatar. She looked at the bushy haired girl she'd designed, clutching a book like the intellectual she'd become, and considered what she'd do next.

A new option had come up, which effectively would reset her entire game-play, locking her out of all her previous avatars, but she'd be able to use her new avatar.

She entered the name she'd chosen for her human name, looking thoughtful as she wondered where she'd heard it from —

**Confirm Name? : **'Hermione Granger.'


	2. The Cake is a lie

**Chapter 2-**

**Precks and perks**

**o0o0o0o0o0o**

Deciding to fly around to look for some dinner after that vigorous last test, I suddenly found myself assaulted with numerous messages from floating text box.

**[Post-Owl academy completed]**

**[Level up]**

**[Achievement got- Earning your wings]**

**[Perk(s) unlocked- Preened for perfection, Killer Instincts]**

**[New quest unlocked- Caged Bird]**

**[Autosaving, please do not turn off the console]**

Suddenly finding my vision obstructed, I called out in shock and tried to find my bearings, but before I could, I found myself hitting a tree. Suddenly seeing my health bar drain to zero, the last thing I saw before blacking out are some bold red letters saying **[WASTED]**.

**o0o0o0o0o0o**

Flying out of the animal hospital, I quickly landed on a branch before anymore messages could assault me, thank_ {REDACTED} _I did, seeing as another message popped up shortly after.

**[Congratulations, you just got wasted. If you were trying to see how you could die in the dumbest way possible, you found it! If you actually died that way on accident, then you should've put more points in dexterity. This may be a game, but that doesn't mean your immune to your own inability to do crutches, fatty.]**

I just sat on the branch for a moment, trying to wrap my head around what I was reading. It looked like a childish bully wrote it. But that did remind me, I did need to use those points I had.

Opening the menu, I notice that the menu is slightly different, and I can't help but preck at that. Make of that what you will.

**o0o0o0o0o0o**

**WELCOME TO THE MENU**

**in the menu, you can use points you get in the hub, along with manage missions, look at trophies, ETC.**

**Options**

**Settings**

**Achievements**

**Hub**

**You have 3 attribute points**

**You have 2 Perk points**

**You have 3 Skill points**

**What would you like to spend them on?**

****o0o0o0o0o0o****

Quickly clicking on the hub, I found myself in a giant 16-bit room of sorts, lined with statues of different kinds of owls and birds on either side of the wall with torches between them, with a crimson rug running through the middle. Deciding to make my way along the path, I end up at the other end of the room, with a giant screen asking what I would like to use. Wonder what I have for perks...

****o0o0o0o0o0o****

****Available Perks****

****Red in tooth and Claw: ****20% more food/Health from hunting**- ******Req 2+ STR****

****Rubber-Necking:**** Dexterity affects perception skill**-****** Req 2+ DEX****

****Post Owl Apprentice:**** Can locate mail recipients-homes**-****** Req 2+ INT****

****Post owl Journeyman:**** Can understand human speech**- ******Req 4+ INT****

****A Highly Educated owl:**** Unlocks reading ability and skills**- ******Req 6+ INT****

****Preened for Perfection:**** 5+ charisma when clean**-****** Req level 2.****

****Killer Instincts:**** Can score CRITS more often**- ******Req 4+ STR****

****Your Perks****

****Bacon!:**** Recover health from human food**- ******Req Snowy Owl avatar****

****Post Owl Homing Charm:**** Can locate mail recipients-people** – ******Req 2+ MAG****

****Super-Hedwig:**** Gain 1+ attribute point**- ******Req level 1.****

****o0o0o0o0o0o****

Realizing most, If not all, of these perks required boosted attribute to use, I decided to go and see what I can get to boost myself with.

****o0o0o0o0o0o****

****Select your attributes****

****(3 attribute points)****

****STRENGTH: 3 (****+?****)****

****DEXTERITY: 2 (****+?****)****

****INTELLIGENCE: 8 (****+?****)****

****MAGIC: 2 (****+?****)****

****o0o0o0o0o0o****

Deciding that boosting my lowest stats would benefit me in the long run, I decided to add them to my lowest points.

****o0o0o0o0o0o****

****Select your attributes****

****STRENGTH: 4****

****DEXTERITY: 3****

****INTELLIGENCE: 8****

****MAGIC: 3****

****o0o0o0o0o0o****

'There, thats better.' I precked to myself, happy with the choices I just made. Ignoring the thought in the back of my head telling me to give all my points to dexterity because of what the game said to me when I died.

Deciding to upgrade Skills before I went back to perks, I go to check what I have to give there.

****o0o0o0o0o0o****

****SELECT YOUR SKILLS****

****Level 2: Owl****

****EXP: 0/200****

****Charisma: 5 (****+?****)****

****Constitution: 6 (****+?****)****

****Flying: 4 (****+?****)****

****Hunting: 5 (****+?****)****

****Magical detection: 1 (****+?****)****

****Perception: 6 (+2 at night) (****+?****)****

****Resistance (physical): 3 (****+?****)****

****Resistance (magical): 2 (****+?****)****

****Stealth: -5 (****+?****)****

****(4) skill points remaining****

****Unlock more skills throughout the game!****

****o0o0o0o0o0o****

Deciding, once again, that boosting my stats in the long run would be better for me In the long run, I went to do that, before deciding that stealth is unmanageable at the moment, and decided to just put all my skill points in magical resistance and magical detection.

****o0o0o0o0o0o****

****SELECT YOUR SKILLS****

****Level 2: Post-Owlett****

****EXP: 0/200****

****Charisma: 5****

****Constitution: 6****

****Flying: 4****

****Hunting: 5****

****Magical detection: 4****

****Perception: 6 (+2 at night)****

****Resistance (physical): 3****

****Resistance (magical): 3****

****Stealth: -5****

****(0) skill points remaining****

****Unlock more skills throughout the game!****

****o0o0o0o0o0o****

Suddenly I felt as though my connection with the earth just got stronger, as though I went from being on the planet to being WITH the planet... nah, probably nothing.

Realizing I still needed to get those perks up, I went back to the perks menu, and decided to get 'Post Owl Journeyman', and 'A Highly Educated Owl'.

****o0o0o0o0o0o****

****Available Perks****

****Rubber-Necking:**** Dexterity affects perception skill**** -Req 2+ DEX****

****Preened for Perfection:**** 5+ charisma when clean**-****** Req level 2.****

****Killer Instincts:**** Can score CRITS more often**- ******Req 4+ STR****

****Post Owl Apprentice:**** Can locate mail recipients homes**-****** Req 2+ INT****

****Red in tooth and Claw:****20% more food/Health from hunting**- ******Req 2+ STR****

****Your Perks****

****Bacon!:**** Recover health from human food**- ******Req Snowy Owl avatar****

****Post Owl Homing Charm: ****Can locate mail recipients-people**– ******Req 2+ MAG****

****Super-Hedwig:**** Gain 1+ attribute point**- ******Req level 1.****

****Post owl Journeyman:****Can understand human speech**- ******Req 4+ INT****

****A Highly Educated owl:**** Unlocks reading ability and skills**- ******Req 6+ INT****

****o0o0o0o0o0o****

Suddenly I felt a tingling sensation, and realized that it must be the new perks settling in. Realizing I had a mission to do, I quickly went to the mission screen to see what I had to complete.

****o0o0o0o0o0o****

****==Missions==****

**Caged bird**

****==Side missions==****

**(N/A)**

****==Completed missions==****

**_Post Owl Academy_**

****o0o0o0o0o0o****

Realizing that I only have one mission to do, I clicked on 'Caged bird', and immediately regretted it.

****[You've finally become a post owl, amazing job there, bird brain -******_**Sarcasm sphere detected-**_******. Anyway, hope you like being someone's plaything, because today is the day you are bought for your one meaningless purpose. To deliver mail to a snot nosed brat. Have fun. I know I will- watching you, that is.]****

Once again I sat there trying to understand what I just read, but before I could comprehend it I noticed a yellow blimp on my mini-map, showing I had to go to Diagon Ally to do the mission. Quickly making my way through the city to Diagon Ally, I quickly stopped when I noticed a text box appear in front of me.

****[flying increases your flying stat, keep flying and you may be able to shed a couple pounds there.]****

So doing certain things increases stats. Would've been nice if the game told me that without being a complete_ Preck _about it.

Deciding to shake off the insults as they came along, I quickly swerved around the building I almost collided with while reading the first text box, when another text box suddenly appeared.

****[dodging incoming vehicles, buildings, spells, ETC. Can boost your dexterity stat. Just try not to land on a truck, I wouldn't want you to murder some poor piece of technology with your weight, you flying turkey.]****

Suddenly dodging a incoming car I almost hit while reading that message, I quickly swooped up, only to almost impale myself into Big Ben because another message popped up.

****[Congratulations, you found a giant clock tower. Every time you find a land mark or a special point of interest, you can add it to your map. Just try not to buy any T-shirts, I don't think they come in a size 15XL.]****

****[Autosaving, Please do not turn off console.]****

Quickly shaking my head of the obscenities floating through it, I took off into the air again, continuing my journey towards Diagon Ally, this time flying low so I wouldn't get impaled by anymore landmarks.

****[Hah, Big Ben. That sounds like a porn star name, doesn't it? Also, watch out for traffic.]****

Suddenly, I felt a sharp pain shoot throughout the front of my body, and I realized I was hit by a truck while reading that stupid message. The last thing I saw before respawning on top of Big Ben was earning two achievements and a sign I was beginning to hate.

****[Achievement got- Darwinism]****

****[Achievement got- Roadkill]****

****[WASTED!]****

Sometimes, I really hate this game...

****o0o0o0o0o0o****

****End of Chapter****

****o0o0o0o0o0o****

****AU:******_** Fans of 'Hedwig's game of the year' can rejoice, I decided to adopt it, because nobody else was going to. Let me yell you, writing down those available perks, Skills, and attributes was harder then I thought. Thank god I have it on document now, So I guess I can now copy and paste it when need be. Also, try and guess who or what the homicidal text boxes are from. Sorry if there's not a lot this chapter, I've decided enough was enough for now. I'll be sure to update. Also, apparently I got the facts about "Super-Hedwig wrong, thank you 'Vincent1875' for pointing it out to me. I think I may also have to switch out 'Post Owl Apprentice' and 'Red in tooth and claw' for 'A highly **_****_Educated Owl' and 'Post Owl Journeyman'. I realized that if Hedwig didn't have those, the story would get rather stale, it also would be rather impossible to be able to read the text box. In fact, it still is in the beginning of this chapter, but let's pretend that little fact doesn't exist._**


	3. Birds of a Feather

Chapter 2-

Caged Bird

AU: Holy crap you guys favorited and followed this faster then I could keep up with! Glad to know people like this story. Also, congratulations on 'So you want to be a Author' on guessing the what the text was based on.

**o0o0o0o0o0o**

Making my way to the waypoint, I quickly landed behind 'Eeylops Owl Emporium'. Suddenly the entire world froze and became hazy, and a new text box appears.

**o0o0o0o0o0o**

**[Caged bird]**

_So you passed the Post-owl Academy and want to get a job._

_Well, a diploma doesn't get you everything in life._

_But it does get a job._

_**[Objectives]**_

_-Be Picked by Hagrid in under 10:00 minutes_

_-Find the secret trophy_

_-Get lock-picking skill 1+_

_**[Rewards]**_

_+75 EXP_

_Aviator Glasses_

_Iron Bird Cage_

**o0o0o0o0o0o**

"..."

Deciding that it's better not to wonder what's wrong with this game, I quickly made my way inside the building, and suddenly the world gets ripply for a moment, as though someone through a pebble into a still pond.

When the world came back into focus, I was already in a cage, and a text box is already in front of me, giving me a tutorial.

**[Oh, look at you, already caught by smelly humans. I bet they're going to cook you for Thanksgiving. In fact, if they wanted to eat you, they would have to put you on a diet, just so they can eat all the meat before it goes bad.]**

Rolling my head again over the text boxes mean spirit, I held my claw over "press A to continue' to speed her monologue along to get to the end.

**[-anyway, to pick a lock, jam your talon into the lock and wiggle it around for a bit until the cage unlocks. Some locks need a better lock-picking skill. That isn't too difficult for you, is it bird brain? Hope that run in with the car didn't kill the last of your brain cells.]**

Quickly giving a hoot of indignant anger that was lost among the sound of a dozen or so screeching owls, I quickly put my talon in the lock and start trying to pick it, but suddenly I heard a voice yelling out "_Oh no you don't!_", and then a sign popped up saying, **[Mission Failed]**.

Wondering what that was about, I tried it a few more times, before realizing that I probably wasn't the first time a clever owl like me tried to pick the locks, and they are probably used to it by now. Shame...

But on the bright side It seemed any EXP in lock-picking and Sneaking transferred over, no matter how many times I failed. Wonder how much I can abuse that...

Still don't know why sneak is going up, maybe it's because I'm different colored then the rest of the owls, so I stand out more...

Plucking racist.

**o0o0o0o0o0o**

**Time-skip, 12 levels of lock-picking later.**

**o0o0o0o0o0o**

Growing tired of picking the lock on the cage, I quickly opened the cage with my talon and flew out, deciding I still have enough time to look for the secret trophy.

Quickly deciding it would most likely be hidden, I flew around the room searching for it. Quickly noticing a golden glow from under a cardboard box, I quickly flew over to it. Seeing as it was upside down, I used my weight (I swear a text box popped up saying "**She admits it!"**) to topple the box over, and I noticed a Golden trophy of what appeared to be a man wearing a green bandana, hiding half-way under a box.

**[Trophy achieved- Sneaking]**

_Congratulations, you got a trophy! Every time you get a trophy, it boost whatever stat It is in by +5. Trophies can be found throughout the world. Can you find all 30+?_

Quickly connecting this trophy with my stats, I realized this would bring my sneaking up to 3, combined with the sneaking skill points I got while grinding with the Lock-picking.

Deciding that I'm going to have to look out for more of these trophies, I quickly fly back up to my cage and closed it with my talon. I'm thankful I did so, because not a second later Hagrid walked in, with all the subtly of a raging hippo.

"_Hello Hagrid! What do you need? Hogwarts doesn't need more owls do they? My boss said I can't sell any to you anymore, not after what the last DADA professor did."_ Said the clerk, sounding slightly ominous at the end of that.

"_Don' yeh worry abou' what happened last year, Smith. We hired Professor Quirrel this year. I don' think you have ter worry about 'im making kamikaze owls."_ Hagrid said, slapping a hand down on the counter, slightly chuckling, with his everlasting smile still on his face. But there was something about his smile that never reached his eyes...

"_That's a relief. Now, what are you in for then, if you don't need any owls for Hogwarts?"_ Smith asked, looking bemused and slightly panicked.

"_I need a owl as a late birthday present for 'arry."_ Hagrid said, getting slightly misty-eyed.

"_Harry? Harry Potter?"_ Smith asked, looking as though he just was told Jesus came back from the dead and was shooting lasers from his hand-holes.

"_O' course 'arry Potter. On'y Harry I know."_ Hagrid said, sounding slightly proud of the fact himself.

"_Well you're in luck, just got a new owl in today, she's a beauty!"_ Smith said, sounding slightly like a gun nut who just got his hands on a Mini-gun.

"_You're going to love her, she's real intelligent as well."_ Smith says, drawing Hagrid to me and pointing up towards me.

"_I bet 'Arry will love 'er."_ Hagrid says, smiling from ear to ear.

"_Let me just get her down for you."_ Steve says, walking behind the counter to get a stepping stool.

"_Don' bother, I got it."_ Hagrid called out to him, simply reaching up and plucking my cage right from the hook on the ceiling it was hanging from.

"_Do you want anything else besides this, or is the owl and cage all you're getting?"_ I heard Steve ask Hagrid.

"_Migh' as well get some owl treats for 'er."_ Hagrid says, reaching into pockets of his at random looking for the pocket where he keeps his money.

"_You do have money, right Hagrid?"_ Steve asked Hagrid, face suddenly becoming stern.

"_O' course! O' course! Harry Musta left my money in another pocket o' mine."_ Hagrid said, continuing his everlasting search for his sack of cash.

Slowly tuning Hagrid out, I decided to think back on what I heard about the last DADA teacher that worked at Hogwarts before Professor Quirrel. It seems he turned the owls into bombs for some reason, all though I can't find the reason why he would...

Suddenly the world froze and became blurry again, and a message popped up in front of my face.

**o0o0o0o0o0o**

**Side-Quest**

**(Professor Frankin'Stein')**

**Activated**

_There used to be a professor at school who experimented with owls, and he was kicked out after making owl kamikazes. Find out where to he lives, and make sure he isn't experimenting on any more innocent creatures._

**[Objectives]**

_-Find where the fired professor lives now._

_-Put a end to their experimenting, if they are doing it._

_-Fly through 5 barns on the way there._

**[Rewards]**

_-75+ EXP_

_-'Frankinstein's Canary' Perk unlocked._

_-'Mad scientist' Avatar unlocked._

**o0o0o0o0o0o**

'Hmm, I'm going to have to remember to do this mission during the year if I ever get bored. Or need if I need EXP.' I thought as Hagrid carried me to 'Madam Malkin's Robes for All Occasions'.

Suddenly I realized this is the moment when I first met my Harry. Suddenly excited, I bopped my head around in my cage, trying to get a good look at Harry. When I finally got a good look at Harry, I slowly stop moving and just stared at him for who knows how long. I knew he would look younger, but it was difficult to see him look so young. It's rather bittersweet, in a way.

"She's beautiful, Hagrid." Harry said, staring at me with wonder in his young eyes. I trilled in comfort, because while Harry may be younger now, in the end he's still my Harry.

I later fell asleep on the train, having the first peaceful sleep since coming back to life in this world.

**o0o0o0o0o0o**

**Time-skip, one peaceful rest later.**

**o0o0o0o0o0o**

Waking up at the middle of night, I rolled my head around a 180˚ axis, trying to get the kinks out of my neck. Suddenly I noticed a text box in front of me constantly saying the same rhyme over and over again.

**[There once was a crooked boy, and he walked a crooked mile.**

**He found a crooked Galleon, upon the crooked mile.**

**He bought a crooked owl, who found a crooked hound.**

**And they all lived together in a little crooked house.]**

As if it knew I was awake, it suddenly stopped. Deciding not to think anything of it for the moment, I decided to fly out to explore. Flying into the forest nearby, I stopped and landed on a tree, deciding to think about my life ever since I came back to life (multiple times).

From finding out my life is a game, to seeing Harry as a child again, the couple weeks I'd been alive have been a wild ride.

But one things for sure, I wouldn't let Harry down this time. That's a promise.

_Unknown to Hedwig, a shooting star flashed through the sky when she made that vow._

**o0o0o0o0o0o**

_**End of chapter**_

_**o0o0o0o0o0o**_

_**AU:** So glad I got another chapter done. Be sure to leave reviews telling me if I'm doing well on this. As I said in the last AU, I decided to change Hedwig's perks so she would understand what people are saying and how to read. I felt it was nearly impossible to write this chapter without it._

_Also, how good did I do on Hagrid's accent? I hope I didn't overdue it..._

_Two more things. Someone asked about the schedule I go by to update this. I don't have one, per say. I just usually crank out chapters whenever I feel creative. It usually only takes me a couple hours to write a chapter, but it can take up to a couple weeks for me to get out of a creative funk and start writing again. Oh, and my school may be taking away laptops during Christmas break, so we may be without a chapter for the next 2 and a half weeks. Another reason I decided to crank this out as quickly as possible._

_I hope you like the references. This is just scraping the tip of the iceberg on ideas I have for this._

_Remember to Favorite, Follow, And review If you liked this chapter._

_What do you think the next trophy should be a reference of? It has to make sense, I don't want someone to say "Vaas from Far Cry 3, for CHARISMA." _

_Screw it, I now feel obliged to add a Vaas trophy in now. Just not for Charisma._


	4. The Daily Grind

**Chapter 4-**

**The Daily Grind.**

AN:_ I am glad this is getting a great following. Sure 100+ favorites doesn't exactly mean i'm up there with the greats, but it's more then I thought I was going to get._

**o0o0o0o0o0o**

_Looking around, I quickly run through a log and up the side of a tree, looking for more acorns for winter._

_'Must find nuts, need nuts for winter', was the basic thought process of mine. Suddenly a few leaves fell from a tree across from the one I was on. It was probably nothing, but I still watched the tree for a few moments, just to be sure._

_After watching the tree for a few more seconds, I decide that the tree is not a threat, and quickly go back to searching for more nuts. Winter was coming soon, so I needed more nuts._

_The fact that I had a tree full of nuts never registered with my one track mind._

_Suddenly sensing danger, I quickly run up the tree to one of the upper branches, and use that branch to bridge my way towards another tree._

_I keep doing this for a while until the threat of danger ebbs away._

_Slowing to a halt, I decide that I am probably safe now._

_Looking around at some trees trying to find a oak tree to get nuts from, I suddenly hear a piercing screech tear though the silence of the forest._

_Looking behind myself, I see a flash of white heading towards me, making the warning signals going through my head flare even louder._

_I quickly squeak as loudly as I can in hopes of warning any other squirrels in the area of the predator and try to flee._

_Running over branches, I quickly jump down off a tree, jumping between tree trunk to tree trunk as I try to escape. Suddenly the sense of danger rises, and I do what the humans call a backflip to dodge the incoming white missile._

_Quickly landing on the ground, I make my way through the tall grass, I lay down, trying to make myself unnoticeable, trying to not get noticed by the white predator._

_Sadly, it is no use, and the predator quickly snatches me up mid-flight. The last thing I think before the inky darkness of death overtakes me is life is cruel, and life is unfair, but more importantly, it is unforgiving._

_If only I kept running..._

**o0o0o0o0o0o**

Quickly eating up the last of the squirrel, I give a hoot of pleasure. Squirrels were always my favorite rodent to eat.

Suddenly another text box appears saying I gained 2+ EXP from that squirrel. That's another thing I like, the fact that when I 'Defeat' opponents I gain EXP. Of course, the higher the level, the larger the EXP gain.

Just my luck that squirrels are the weakest enemy around.

Deciding that I was done hunting for the day, I fly back to Privet drive, doing some quick math in my head on how much EXP I need until I level up. Seeing as i've already killed 10 squirrels, and each one is worth 2 EXP, I realize I need 110 EXP until I can level up.

Speaking of leveling up, the last time I leveled up I got a item called "Aviator glasses", wonder what they do.

As if I just summoned the devil, a text box appears, and brings along enough sass to fill a season of Glee.

**[To equip a item, go into the menu, click on "Hub" and use the item you want. Some items are consumable's, and others aren't. So I hope for your sake you still have a couple brain cells left to tell them apart, or else this is going to be a long day.]**

Deciding that now is not the time to think bad things about the text box, I quickly go into the menu and click on hub, and I am instantly assaulted with the many things I can do.

**o0o0o0o0o0o**

**WELCOME TO THE HUB**

**what would you like to do?**

**-Character Avatars**

**-Mission control**

**-Trophy room**

**-World Map**

**-Items**

**-Stats**

**o0o0o0o0o0o**

Quickly clicking on items, I notice I have two things, and it's written in green writing. Wonder what that's about...

And another text box shows up.

_**[Green items are items you can obtain only in missions, Purple items are items obtain from the corpses of 'defeated' enemies, Gold items are rare items that can be obtained scavenging or from the corpses of defeated enemies, silver items are uncommon items that can only be obtained through the corpses of defeated enemies, bronze items are common items found through scavenging and looting the corpses of defeated enemies, and red items are special items that are needed for missions.]**_

Reading the message multiple times, I quickly notice that not a single thing in there was insulting. Feeling slightly creeped out at the lack of insults, I quickly check out the Aviator glasses and what stats they have.

**o0o0o0o0o0o**

**{Aviator Glasses}**

~They just look really cool~

_+2 Perception during daytime_

_+5 Charisma when combined with the bomber jacket_

**o0o0o0o0o0o**

Deciding that there was no reason not to put them on, I equip them, deciding I would have to look out for the bomber jacket.

Suddenly the world becomes slightly darker, and I realize all my senses have suddenly gone up. I thought it would just be my seeing, but I can hear things better, and I can feel wind currents from father away.

Deciding to head back to Privet Drive, I lift my wings and take off, flying over and past the park, heading back to Privet Drive.

_Hedwig never realized that a group of young teenagers filmed her catching and eating the squirrel..._

Flying back through the window, I go and rest upon Harry's dresser. Looking around the room, I focus on the calender hanging on his wall over his desk. It said that in a week we would be going back to Hogwarts.

I should've felt happy about that, seeing as that was the place Harry first felt at home, but to me it was a deadline.

I've spent all the time since I've gone back in time messing around doing nothing. I've only gone up one level, and the one side mission I have I didn't bother to even do yet. I haven't even bothered exploring Britain.

I decide that starting tomorrow, I would have to start grinding for some levels. But for now, I should really take a nap. What is it, 5:00PM? Way to early.

Right when I'm starting to doze off Harry walks in, shutting the door behind him.

"Where did you get those Sun glasses?" I hear Harry say, but I'm to tired to care about his lack of knowledge about Aviators. I hear him walk over to the trunk by his bed and grab a spell book by his trunk.

What was I doing? Oh yes, sleeping.

Sleep sounds like a good idea...

**o0o0o0o0o0o**

I wake up late the next day, seeing the time is 1:05 AM. Deciding that I should get to work grinding for some XP, I quickly go through the open window and fly off to the city, deciding that some ally cats and drunk hobos should give out some nice XP and loot.

Seeing Big Ben come into sight, I take the time to fly around it, images of last time flashing through my head.

Quickly flying over to a random street in London, I flutter down and sit on a apartment building at random. Suddenly, a message pops up.

**[Congratulations, you found a crack den! Crack dens can be looted for drugs and items, which you can sell to certain people. Watch out for gangsters though. If they see you trying to steal their goods, they will think you are a member of a rival gang, and will immediately start a battle with you.]**

Blinking my eyes, I look down on the building I'm sitting on. A crack den, huh. Well, this is convenient.

Flying in through a open window, I quickly notice that this isn't a crack den, by the looks of it, it's a apartment for a family. I can tell this by the fact that there is a family of four sitting on a couch staring at me.

Suddenly hearing the little girl scream, I decide to fly off before I die again. Flying back out the open window, I go to sit back on the roof, the sound of a window slamming is faintly heard in the background.

Looking at the expanse of sky around me, I notice a run down building two blocks away with a yellow beacon coming from it and a sign that says **[Crack House]**. Oops...

Quickly flying in through the crack houses broken down window, I slowly look around the room I'm in. There is a knocked out guy laying on the couch, his nose covered in a mysterious white power, and a table with two keys of blow. If you are wondering why a owl would know what blow looks like, let me tell you, Post-Owl Academy teaches you all aspects of life.

Suddenly the gangster jumps up off the couch with a war cry, and with a yell of "Holy fuck, a owl! It wants the blow!", the battle begins.

Suddenly I hear a wicked dubstep start playing in the background, which is weird, seeing as I kept game music off.

Suddenly the gangster dives at me and starts slashing a knife wildly, and I quickly fly upwards to avoid his attacks.

Suddenly I notice his health bar above his head, listing all his stats to me.

**2-bit Gangster**

**Level 1**

_**Watch out for this guy, he may be slow and not able to take many hits, but those steroids pack a punch!**_

_Health- 40/40_

_Strength- 8_

_Dexterity- 1_

_Intelligence- 2_

_Magic- 0_

Deciding that as long as I do some hit and runs I should be fine, I quickly swoop down and hit him with my talons, accidentally slicing him through the eye. Clutching his now ruined eye, he gave out a anguished scream before "fainting".

A sign also popped up that said Critical hit, but I think I already knew that.

Suddenly I get hit with a sign saying I've gained 35 XP. Deciding that if I see anymore Gangsters I will have to 'defeat' them for the XP, I casually fly out of the room and start searching for more hardcore drugs and people to beat up.

Walking into a room at random, I see two gangsters sitting with a guy in a ratty brown trench coat. Suddenly looking over to be, they all let out battle cries and jump at me. While I know the stats for the 2-bit gangsters, I don't know the stats for the guy in the trench coat.

**Drug Dealer**

**Level 2**

_**They say never shoot the messenger, but they never said anything about the supplier! Just hope the messenger isn't supplying bad news, don't know how that would turn out...**_

_Health- 60/60_

_Strength- 6_

_Dexterity- 3_

_Intelligence- 4_

_Magic- 0_

Deciding that the Drug Dealer seemed more dangerous than the 2-bit gangsters, I dispatch of them quickly before facing the him.

Knocking the last 2-bit gangster down before facing the drug dealer, I realize that I only need 3 more XP and I'll level up.

The drug dealer pulls out a zippo lighter and holds it up to face level and harshly blows at the flame. Suddenly a torrent of fire is hurtling towards me, and I quickly fly out of the way before I'm singed to a crisp.

Realizing that the Drug Dealer must me so drunk that just his breath can cause jets of fire alone, I decide to use that to my advantage. Quickly flying just out of his reach, I fly loops around him, making him try to follow me with his eyes the entire time.

After the fifth loop around his head, his eyes quickly start rolling around in their sockets while he is staggering around the room, swinging randomly trying to hit me.

Once again a random sign popped up, but only this time it said he was dazed.

Quickly swooping in for the kill, I slash at his face, but sadly miss his eyes. Apparently I only took his health down by 20.

But it wouldn't matter, seeing as when he was randomly swinging his fist around he punched himself in the balls, scoring a critical hit on himself and knocking himself out. A message popped up saying I earned 65 XP, along with a slew of messages saying random things.

**[Achievement Achieved- Punch Drunk]**

**[Level up!]**

**[Perk(s) unlocked- Bye Bye Birdie, Smart as a Owl]**

Rolling my head to get the messages out of my vision, I quickly loot the bodies of the 2-bit gangsters and the drug dealer.

Hmm, nothing special, only a couple syringes, 15£, and a brown trench coat.

Wait, what?

Checking again, I notice that I do in fact have a trench coat, and it's a silver item. I decide to check the stats for it, wondering what it has to bring to the table.

**o0o0o0o0o0o**

_**Trench coat**_

_~Don't worry, those red stains are just ketchup.~_

_+2 Sneaking_

_-2 Charisma_

**o0o0o0o0o0o**

Well, this is interesting. I could have 2 sneak, but at the cost of Charisma. Difficult... very difficult.

Deciding to only put the trench coat on when I need to be sneaking around, I quickly equip it and keep searching the Drug den. Seeing only 3 more keys of cocaine throughout the Drug den, I decide that the place must be secured, and take back off through the window back to Privet Drive.

**[Autosaving, please do not turn off the console]**

**o0o0o0o0o0o**

**Time-skip-**

**Next Day**

**o0o0o0o0o0o**

Waking up at 4:00 PM, I notice Harry isn't in the room, must be doing chores. Deciding there is no reason to be here, I unlock my cage with my talon and fly off to London, searching for a place to sell my stuff to.

Suddenly, a store appears on my mini-map, and I decide to fly to it,wondering what kind of store it is.

Quickly making my way to a store in the middle of London, I fly through it, barely noticing the sign out front that read **[Game Stop]**.

Entering into the store, the clerk looks up from the magazine he is reading, and looks back down to it again, as if he didn't just see a owl fly into the store he's working in.

Walking up to the clerk, the world becomes hazy for a few moments, and a menu opens up displaying everything I can do.

**[Welcome to Game Stop, what would you like to do?]**

**-Sell**

**-Buy**

**-What is 'Game Stop', and how far should I run away from it?**

Deciding to click on sell, my menu suddenly opens up to all the items I have.

Deciding to only sell the keys of cocaine and the syringes, I click on them. A arrow appears along with a number. Deciding I want to sell all of them, I click the arrow four times until it stops on 5 for the keys of cocaine. I then only click the arrow once for the syringes, seeing as I only had two.

Seeing the price I would get for the five keys of cocaine made my head practically spin on its axis. I could probably buy a house with that sort of cash!

Deciding to sell all of the items I selected, I fly out of the shop and back into the city, thinking about what to do.

I think it's time to make a stop to Gringotts to make a vault account, with how much money I'm carrying around.

**o0o0o0o0o0o**

**AN:I want to give a nice shout-out to MichaelSuave! You all probably already know him, but the guy has practically defined the 'Your life is a game' Genre. Anyway, todays omake is about a AU about the teenagers who videotaped the epic chase between Hedwig and the Squirrel. Also, the epic dubstep Hedwig listened to was 'Haunted' by Shurk.**

**o0o0o0o0o0o**

**AU Omake- It all started with a squirrel**

**o0o0o0o0o0o**

Hedwig never realized that a group of young teenagers filmed her catching and eating the squirrel.

The video would later become famous on Youtube, leading to all of them getting a passion for filming animals doing interesting things for their youtube channel. They would later gain a huge popularity on the website, catching the interest of Animal Planet, where they would be given a contract to go with a documentary crew to film wildlife in the Black Forest in Germany.

They would later (in said forest) film a unicorn running through the forest, being chased by a hungry Griffon. With this video proof in tow, they would later show all the fellow "muggles" that those two magical creatures were real. Sparking a craze known as "Magic Mania", hundreds of thousands of people from all over the globe would search for fabled creatures for fame and glory.

After multiple governments told civilians multiple times not to, and even barring off certain parts of forest to people, one group of talented hackers would later hack into Frances government files to see why they were so sketchy about 'Fable Searching'. The files they would find would end up being the ones about the magical population throughout France, and even the world.

What would follow would shake the world, from 'muggles' campaigning to be called 'mundanes' because 'muggle' sounds like a slur, to campaigns for the rights for interspecies relationships between humans and sentient magical species, to attacks on wizards from devote catholics claiming wizards were horrors spawned of the devil (this was later put to rest by the pope, who claimed the only horror was the horror of watching innocent bystanders get attacked, and no true catholic would do this to another human being).

One experience that will be looked back on were the campaigns for House Elf rights, lead by a young women named Hermione Granger. The trials would later be used as a example for equal rights, with the saying, which would bring equality ahead by years. It would be reported the rate of minorities being arrested for false charges would drop by 60%.

Hard to believe that in the end, this can all be traced back to a white owl catching a squirrel. Well, that's life I guess.


	5. The Reawakening

**Chapter 4-**

**The reawakening**

_AU: I have been having horrible luck. I got extremely sick and was out of it for a week or two, and then I got a virus and was out of it another week. I've also been having many problems in my life, and I am surprised I'm alive after everything nature's thrown at me._

**o0o0o0o0o0o**

Hedwig slowly open her eyes and twisted her head around on it's axis, trying to get the kinks out of her neck. _'How long have I been stagnant?'_ She thought blearily. _'Well, there was that one week, and the next week, and the next week after that...'_

Quickly realizing she hasn't done anything in weeks, Hedwig quickly flew out of her cage and through the open window Harry has kept open in hopes of having his Owl-turned-gargoyle fly out of to 'hunt'.

Quickly flying through the air on the way to Gringotts, she quickly noticed a commotion in a nearby alleyway. Flying down low, she could see that two people were in it, a young teenager and a sleazy man the game had apparently dubbed 'Mugger'.

"You have five seconds before I blast yer brains out and take ya stinkin wallet!" The mugger yelled out, clinking back the trigger on his gun while waving it in the young boys face.

Deciding that the mugger needed to be stopped, and it's always good getting XP, Hedwig swooped down and stole the gun from the muggers hand.

**[Pickpocket +1]**

_'Pickpocket? It wasn't even in his pocket...'_ Hedwig thought absently. Of course, she was a owl, so she couldn't really say it.

And suddenly a tutorial popped up in front of Hedwig's face and froze the world.

**[Just point and shoot birdbrain, I'm sure you can figure it out]**

Deciding to follow the messages advice, Hedwig landed on a nearby building and, while holding the gun in one of her talons, shot the mugger in the shoulder.

"Ahh Fuck! Birds are using fire arms now! I knew global warming was real." Screamed the mugger now clutching his shot shoulder, suddenly sounding calm and collected when it came to the global warming part, basically proving he wasn't a politician.

Taking aim one more time, Hedwig pulled back the trigger and shot the mugger in the other shoulder.

"Ahh help! Help! Global warming is attacking me! I knew Birdemic was a good movie." The mugger screamed out, proving he was in fact insane, before running out of the alleyway into oncoming traffic.

**[Achievement unlocked- Birdemic: Shock and Terror]**

**[XP Gained- 50]**

**[New Weapon- Glock]**

Looking at the young teenager, Hedwig decided he was safe, before flying off into the sky, never to be seen again by the likes of that mugger. Because he was dead.

Looking around the alleyway, the teenager looked at the dumpsters that were in the alleyway, then at the owl holding a glock flying away, and then at the stain that made up the mugger on the road.

"I knew I shouldn't have watched Birdemic." The teenager stated calmly, as if it was just a fact of life everyone knew deep down inside, before walking out of the alleyway to go find the wallet of the mugger, so he could steal his money.

How Ironic.

**o0o0o0o0o0o**

Flying through the city, I quickly came upon Diagon Alley. Flying down low into the alley, I reached my destination in barely four flaps of my wings, the doors of the great establishment opening right before I would have crashed into them. Flying through the building, I headed towards the nearest teller, resting to sit on the stool in front of him.

"Welcome to Gringotts, what do you need?" The teller ask in a lazy drawl, as if I was just a random pure-blood and not a owl.

When he was done talking a menu opened up, asking what I would want to do, with a rather fancy borderline. Some of the things I could do were faded though.

**-Create vault**

_**-Visit Vault**_

**-Convert money**

**-Wage war with the goblin species**

**-Try to rob Gringotts**

**-Rent goblin-made item**

Deciding that I needed to switch out some of my money with Galleons, I click _Convert money_ on the menu. Suddenly it chances to a different menu, with a number bar with arrows on either side that I could click and hold down, decorated with red velvet with gold embroiling the sides.

Deciding to just hold onto the right arrow, I quickly see that it taps out at the maximum amount of money I have. Deciding to just convert most of it, I quickly hold down on the left arrow to bring the number down a little. Deciding that converting 100,000 pounds was good, I stop holding the arrow and click a _accept_ button that just appeared right below the number bar.

"That will give you 100,000 galleons, do you accept?" the goblin ask in a completely flat, if not slightly robotic feminine voice.

Deciding not to think about it too much, I just click accept, and I suddenly feel bloated and overweight.

"You can only carry so much gold before you get weighed down, fatty. If only you put more in strength." The goblin said, her face still doing a oscar worthy impression of a 2x4.

Shrugging off the insults deciding I have more important things to do, I exit the stool, and sit back on it. Just as I predicted, the menu was back. I decided to click on _Create vault._

"It seems you just chose to create vault. Be warned it will cost 0.01 galleons to create your vault, do you want to accept?" The goblin asked, one of her glassy eyes rolling into the back of her head. I click accept, and suddenly the entire lobby is ringing with the sound of alarms. Suddenly the goblin before me came back to life, and attached a chained ball to my leg.

"You do not have 0.01 Galleons to pay off your vault. Because of this you will have to work it off. Here is a mop and bucket, get working." The goblin said, handing me a mop. The second I grabbed the mop, the goblin grabbed it back from me. "Ok, you have worked off your debt, now onto your new vault." The goblin said walking away, leaving me behind to follow.

The goblin went through a door off to the side. When I entered I was amazed at the contrast it had with the bank. While the bank was proper and clean, this was nothing more then a bunch of mining rails. I was starting to think the goblins may have a in with the dwarfs.

The goblin started hobbling to a minecart parked right next to the doorway, which probably means it was here for us. I flew into the minecart, the goblin quickly following in.

"Keep talons and wings inside the minecart at all times, here we go." The goblin said pulling a lever, suddenly we were off, passing many other vaults on the way to mine. The path was twisting and turning so much I couldn't get a good look at any of them. I think I saw one vault with a metal gear shaped door with a number on it, but I didn't really know what that was about.

All too soon we arrived at my vault, and I quickly got out of the minecart. Looking at my vault, it was very average, looking like every other vault here. The goblin went and dragged her hand down the vault door, opening it for me.

"This is because we don't have a key crafted yet. By the time we reach the lobby a key should be made for you." The goblin said, answering my unasked question.

Flying into the doorway of the vault, mildly scared it was going to close on me, a message popped up.

**-Deposit money**

**-Get money**

Choosing deposit money, a menu opened up like the one upstairs, with two arrows, and a number bar. Of course, this one resembled a cave, with little glowing gems decorating it. They were both nice, but this one was more interesting in my opinion. Choosing all 100,000 galleons to deposit, I felt my stomach quake for a second, but I ignored it.

Clicking the accept button, the menu closes and I expect to see my vault filled with money, but it is still empty. I open my mouth to preck in anger/confusion.

Big mistake.

The second I opened my mouth a giant rush of gold coins came coming out of me. It was so strong I was repelled into the air. I don't know how long I was like that, shooting coins down into my vault like a demonic piggybank, but all I know is it was weird.

Staggering out of my vault, I see the goblin just standing there looking bored, as though owls turn into super soakers that fire gold coins every day.

**[Achievement achieved- Piggybank]**

"Well I can see you have finished your business at Gringotts today, let us be off to the surface world." The goblin said, before walking back to the cart. Deciding it was my only way out of this maze, I decided I had to join her in the cart.

Once again the ride was mostly boring, nothing but twist and turns while we slowly headed up. Along the way I could've sworn I saw some weird crab-like people chanting something, but I didn't get to listen to what they were chanting.

All too soon we were in the lobby at Gringotts. The goblin just walked back to her post as though I didn't exist. On my way to the exit a goblin gave me my vault key, so that was nice.

Or it would've been, if I wasn't flying, and he didn't tape it to a football and chuck it at me.

But I digress, we are finally out of Gringotts, the sky was a lovely shade of blue, the clouds were nice and fluffy, and the sunlight was nice and bright. It was a perfect day for flying around and forgetting about your troubles.

So I did just that.

**AN:**_ Hey guys sorry I've been gone so long, but I'm back. I've been extremely sick recently, and only just got back into the swing of things. Because I've been so sick, and I haven't been keeping track of anything, I don't know what to do about the leveling system. I just played fallout, and I realized how fucked my leveling system is._

_I gave 3 attribute points each level, and only 5 stat points. I think I also allowed Hedwig to get 2 perks. In reality it should be 1 attribute point every 3 levels (in my opinion), 10 stat points per level, and 1 perk per level. I don't know why New Vegas only allows you to get perks every other level, that's kind of stupid. I am also making it so stats go up to more you do them. I also don't use the S.P.E.C.I.A.L system whatsoever._

_Sounds good? Good. Now here's the problem. I don't have enough time to rewrite all of this. I just got back from being sick, and i'm having so much stuff go on I can barely keep up with this story. I would either need someone to go back and practically rewrite all of this, or do it myself._


End file.
